My niece lost her dad last night. I was sad last night, but as I write this, I am fighting back the tears. This death is touching me in a way, I did not expect. I am sad for my niece, I am sad for his mom, stepdad, and brother. I am sad for my sister. I am sad for all those that loved him. I am sad for all those who have lost a parent or parents. I do not know what that feels like, and it makes me sad of even the thought of losing my parents. Times like this remind me that life may feel long, but it is short. He was only 50 years old. His death was not expected.
His death made me think of my own father and how I felt about this a lot last year. Those who know me know I always had “daddy issues.” I was angry with my dad for so long. Sometimes I would go years without speaking to him. But then I thought about how angry I was with him, and he didn’t even know it. He was just living his life, oblivious to my feelings. I also thought about how I was stopping my blessings, because of the way I felt about him. So I made a choice in the summer of 2018, with him and all my relationships, that you have to “meet people where they are.” I can only control me. Regardless of how angry I get, or how much I rant and rave, people are going to be who they are. I can not control them. But I can control how I feel and how I react. That summer, I told my dad how I felt, we cried, and we both agreed to do better. Is my relationship with my dad where I want it to be, no. But it is better, and I am not angry anymore. I am meeting him where he is, and that’s okay. I am at peace with our relationship. In the grand scheme of things, whatever challenges you face with a family member, is it really worth the pain you will feel knowing you were not at peace and loving with them if they died?
I told that story to lead to this, FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. It makes me sad where I hear my friends tell of conflicts with family members, of not speaking to one another. I am not naive to think all disputes can be solved, but I do feel if you do your part to make peace, even if it’s not reciprocated, your heart will be lighter, and you will not have any regrets. Life feels long, but it is short. Tell your family that you love them.
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