After giving this much thought, I have decided to change the focus of my blog, BrownSugarQueen, and devote it totally to self-care.
It’s all about finding my passion. Three weeks ago, I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I realized what my true passion is. It took a Prevailing Woman conference in Durham, NC to inspire me to do what I’m happy doing, to do what brings me joy.
But let's talk about what got me to the point.
Last year I had a conversation that helped me see life with new eyes. It helped me shift how I view my relationships and how I react to those around me. Those around me include not only include my family, but my friends, those I work with, and even the strangers I encounter as I am going through life. My conversation last year was unexpected, and it was very uncomfortable, but it was also freeing.
When it was about to happen, I was not prepared to say what I needed to say, even after 30 years. For 30 years, I had written many letters, rehearsed what I wanted to say, talking about it with my mom, but I was still not prepared. However, I realized if I did not speak at that very moment, then I was never going to do it. I thought to myself; I would never be at peace, I would always hold on to the anger, anger that was inside of me for so long.
But it was time to let it go .... so I did.
Since that day, my mantra has been to “meet people where they are.” I accept people for who they are. A lesson learned many years ago, but I keep forgetting is that you cannot change how folks act, only how you react. No more will I pressure people into to doing things, they told me they were not going to do, No more will I try to make you feel quilts for not eating dinner with me, no more will I be upset because you changed your mind about something. No more will I be shocked if you are late. (Now, I probably won’t be there when you finally arrive, but I won’t be upset.)
As of this moment, my focus is to do things that genuinely bring me joy, to live my life in the present moment, and to be fully awake. I am striving to be mindful. Mindful of what is helpful and what is not. Mindful of things that enhance my life, and things that help to keep me calm. I strive to be more in control and to improve my physical wellbeing. I strive for deep and intuitive wisdom and creativity. I strive to know myself even better. I strive to inspire.
I am excited to explore what mindfulness looks like and to share my journey with you.
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