I remember a conversation I had with a family member years ago, concerning their decision to change their lifestyle. To this day, it still haunts me on their thought process, and what factors played in their decision to be what they are today.
At that time, they allowed someone to define who they were, and they believed what was said about them. My mind could not process or understand how they acknowledged and accepted what total strangers said about them. I thought they had a strong personality, and could withstand the opinions of a few people. But that was not the case. Why would you allow someone to tell you what you are? I had a difficult time understanding why one would give someone else power over them? But I didn't know the extent of the situation, that this person faced this on a daily basis. They were being mentally bullied (a topic for another blog).
Even at a young age, I knew who I was and sort of had an idea of what direction I wanted my life to go in. Never would I allow anyone to define who I was. That did not sit well with me then, and it does not sit well with me now.
Remember, earlier I stated I had a difficult time understanding how you would let someone define who you are. But with time, I grew to understand. My life experiences opened my eyes to see that life can beat you down, and make you doubt your self-worth. When you have little regard for yourself, it can lead to depression and even suicide. Self-esteem is vital to your survival. It is rooted in your beliefs, and ties to your behaviors, feelings, and actions. Many factors influence self-esteem, but the one I feel that shapes us overall is our experiences. More times than not, I think when you are given constant negative feedback or is continuously criticized, your self-esteem takes a beating. It can wear down even the strongest person. The trick is, don't let it keep you down, don't let it control your life.
Here are a few habits I feel can help to rebuild your self-esteem; to remember that it's okay to fall, just get up, dust yourself off, and start again.
1. Try something new – when you step out of your comfort zone, you feel right about your successes. Even if you do not meet your goal, keep trying, you will improve.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others – There is always someone that can do it better, so STOP. Compare yourself to you. When you try something new and you start to succeed, celebrate each improvement.
3. Surround yourself with those who support you – or better yet, stay away from those who do not help you. You need positive reinforcement.
4. Stop the self-negative talk – Refocus your thoughts on more constructive ideas and positive activities. YOU CAN DO IT!!
Post in the comments one thing that is impacting your self-esteem in a negative way, and then tell me how you plan to overcome, rebuild your self-esteem, and TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.
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